25 sexual things to know before Christmas

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As everyone is about to enter the hustle and bustle usually associated with Christmas period, I want to quickly infuse into the hearts of all the married lovers and couples in a relationship, some 25 'never-forget' discoveries they need to know and be familiar with this season. These 25 discoveries are accessible facts married couples can easily adopt while in the spirit of Christmas. So, enjoy as you read and make sure your sex bed does not experience any dull moment all through this Yuletide.



One: Never forget the fact that every human being is created as a sexual being and all human beings have the ability to reach orgasm at any given time even within seconds. This is because male and female orgasm has been defined as, "an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tension." Although, there are other definitions, most of the time, the word, 'tension' is recurrent. This suggests that if and when sexual intercourse comes up between two married lovers, hot, superb erotic and unimaginable orgasm is expected to be a normal activity when sex is going on. Orgasm during sex should be expected frequently between couples, giving room for utmost unhindered sexual satisfaction.

Two: During orgasmic sexual intercourse, a lot of incredible things happen in human body. Whenever any couple experiences sizzling and burning orgasm, their hearts pump faster while both of them breathe heavily to fuel their muscles. Then, hormones such as endorphins and oxytocin send instant messages about this sexual activity to the couple's brains and other sensitive parts of their bodies. In a jiffy, blood is pumped into the genital regions to create the tension that ultimately triggers a pudenda reflex (this is a muscular spasm of the genitals). The immediate reflex results in the pelvic-floor muscles, contracting between five and 15 times at 0.8-second intervals. This is the wonder of the orgasm that couple must experience and look forward to experience while in the spirit of Christmas!

Three: Sexual therapists have made it clear that orgasm experience helps to burn out some amount of fat around the heart tissues and neural pathways in the spine. This explosive discharge of a neuromuscular tension is not only peculiar to the male gender, as it is also present in the female gender. The most prominent and sensitive female organ that could trigger orgasm anytime there is sexual activity is the clitoris. This organ is about two inches above the vaginal opening, located in front and above the opening of the urethra (urine outlet). It is the most sexually sensitive part of the female reproductive organ; it becomes slightly enlarged and erect in response to sexual stimulation. This is called the female 'sexual trigger." Most married women do not experience orgasm because their husbands hardly take quality time to lovingly and gently caress this organ during foreplay. Sufficient stimulation of this organ during foreplay produces the orgasm experience in nearly all women.

However, it should be noted that this must be done with utmost care, as many husbands had, in the course of caressing the clitoris, inflicted untold pains on their wives. What is expected of such husbands is merely a feather touch caressing, or better still, using their tongue or hands to stimulate the organ, which produces orgasm within a twinkle of an eye. Unfortunately, in most parts of the African continent, this wonderful structure is usually removed or mutilated during female circumcision.

Four: Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. More than 60 percent of women must have direct clitoral stimulation in order to climax. In fact, believing a woman should achieve orgasm through intercourse alone is like expecting a man to reach orgasm by only stroking his testicles. Do not ignore the facts of anatomy. A woman's clitoris is similar to the head (glans) of the man's penis. Often, the clitoris isn't stimulated by intercourse. If the head of the penis wasn't involved in intercourse, the man wouldn't climax easily!

This does not mean that it is proper for a man to reach for his wife's clitoris immediately. Women come in all shapes and sizes-physically, emotionally, and particularly, sexually; so the only safe way to approach her clitoris is to find out what she wants and what she likes. It is only few and rare women that are okay with 'starting' quickly for their clitoris; most women will be offended or turned off if their husband goes straight to their clitoris first and skip fondling the non-sexual areas. Like the penis, the clitoris engorges with blood during arousal. Touching her before she is aroused can be unpleasant, or even painful to most women.

Five: Most women differ greatly in the way they enjoy having their clitoris stimulated, and the manner of stimulation can vary during the different stages of lovemaking. It is helpful (and can be fun) for a wife to show her husband how she wants to be stroked by placing her hand over his own and actually putting pressure on his fingers to demonstrate where she likes to be touched, how lightly or firmly, and how slowly or quickly she likes the movements to be. The other nerve- invested areas are the nipple, the breast, the lips of the vaginal, and the lobs of the ear.

Questions Answers



Can I still give birth again?

I'm a 30-year-old lady and I have used the contraceptive injection for over four years now because of the new joy I got shortly after getting married. My period has stopped for some time and I am afraid that I may not conceive again. I am worried because my husband and I are thinking of settling down to have a family of our own and the fear of not being able to conceive is affecting my sex life.

Anxious woman

Amenorrhea (temporary stoppage of periods) is a common side effect of the contraceptive injection. It may take up to a year for your menstrual cycle to return to normal after stopping the three-month injectable contraceptive. However, this should not affect your ability to conceive. All you need to do is relax and try to enjoy sex for the fun of it and not because you want to get pregnant.

 Question two

Unbearable pain during sex

          I'm 30 years old and I just got married. My wife and I were both virgins before we got married. Every time we make love, she feels an unbearable pain. We always have sex quickly or not all, because she once said it would be better if she died than endure the pain. It has been a month since we got married but she still complains of the pains. I also ejaculate very early.

Anonymous

I believe the greatest thing any couple could do for each other is to ensure that they both enjoy sex to the fullest. Your experience is common among newly married virgins. Just give yourself time to adjust to your new life. For now, sex will continue to be somewhat painful for your wife, until she gets used to being penetrated. But that should not put both of you off sex. I suggest you see that the sexual conditions are right for the two of you so that her mind will be free to focus on relaxing. I also suggest you see a sex therapist who will teach both of you how your sexual bodies work and how you can enjoy sex in a more satisfying manner. Do not feel embarrassed. This is but a learning process.    

Question three

 My organ is too small, I don't want to lose my woman

I am a fan of yours and I have been following your write-ups for some time now. Ever since then, my sex life has not been the same. My wife and I are always blessed by each edition, may God in His infinite mercy continue to bless and enrich this column with great knowledge. I have a problem with my penis. It is very small, and my woman is complaining, please what can I do before I lose her.

Monday Alao

This is an immense problem that plagues our men – both young and old, rich and poor, highly influential and the commoner – not only in our country but the whole world and it has been a major concern to many. However, I would love to give a word of advice. Over the years of my being a sex therapist and a sexologist, I have discovered that these following tips have saved a lot of marriage relationships with or without the use of penis- enlargement drugs.

One, if your wife is not complaining, just accept yourself as you are.

Two, if your wife is complaining, then apply the followings:

A: When having sex, engage in varieties of dog style position such as spoon style or side by side style position or any other form of sex than the basic missionary position. The trick of these styles is that it normally reduces the length of the vaginal of the woman. This is because she is not standing straight, sitting straight or bending slightly. With these positions, her virginal is automatically shorter than the usual length when she is straightened up. And when you enter her from whatever angle, your penis will be able to fully fill up the remaining part of her vaginal.

Two, if you are extremely smart with delivering a very good passionate, erotic foreplay; you can easily bring her to the verge of climaxing prior to your entering her and you will be able to get her to orgasm with any size of penis.

Three, make sure you learn the skill of pre-sex fingering and clitoris banqueting. Master it and become an expert with it. What I mean by 'clitoris banqueting' is taking quality time to work on the clitoris at the same time, finger the first few inches of her vaginal very extensively. When this is done, it usually compensates for the fullness of the small size penis because by the time you have done justice to her clitoris and the tip of the vaginal with your fingers, your small penis will just finish the job easily.

Four, you can always try many natural herbs available from highly recommended company for increase in size of the penis. 

Five, practice more of blow-job with her valval than penetrative vagina sex.

Can I still love him?

'I don't love my hubby'

I don't feel anything when he touches me. Your column made me to believe that you could solve my problem. Sorry, I am not good at writing. I am 37 years old and have been married for 10 years. I have five children, but I have never enjoyed sex with my husband and I believe that I am frigid. After I got married, I told my friend and she took me to a medical doctor, who said my problem was not medical but emotional. He also asked me if I love my husband and if I had ever been raped in my life. The truth is that I am not in love with my husband. I only married him because of pressure from my family that I was getting old. After this visit to my doctor, I have managed to tolerate my husband, but I am not even aware of his touch, neither do I feel anything when he enters me. That's how we have managed to have five children. But I don't think it will be ideal to stay idle and do nothing about my condition. I keep changing doctors and I used traditional medicine to no avail. However, what surprises me is that in all these years, my husband has never complained. He has never revealed that he has noticed my lack of response. When I discuss it with my doctor, he said maybe my husband was the problem and he invited him. But my husband refused to go. Please help me because I don't know what to do. I have only written 10 percent of what is happening.

H.I

I think your problem needs an urgent attention. Try and see me, you need lots of counselling.

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